small blog about nice things
vegan, adventurer, lover of chai lattes and winona ryder
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Tuesday 28 October 2014

What Even is Life: Winona Ryder

OK. SO.

Let's just start off by saying that Winona Ryder is Queen. Sorry, Beyoncé, but I'm making you take the back seat here. On my blog, Winona reigns, and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

Winona Ryder has won the hearts of people everywhere. She is spunky, cool, petite yet ferocious, and just the raddest person to walk the earth. She has been in many movies directed by my favourite director Tim Burton and played some of the most entertaining and weird characters.

1. Susanna Kaysen in Girl, Interrupted

Pretty much, the movie starts out with Winona trying to kill herself due to past relationships that have been majorly abusive, which lands her in a mental hospital for the next 18 months. This film was set in the 1960's, when even though depression and other mental health problems were recognized, the way in which they were dealt with weren't as nice or accepting.

In Girl, Interrupted Winona plays opposite Angelina Jolie, her crazy renegade best friend in the hospital. Angelina's character isn't very nice, although she somehow makes you like her, kindof, until she gets downright creepy. But there are moments when you smile a bit, because for some odd reason although you're watching the kind of movie that makes you feel a bit weird in the pit of your stomach, there are beautiful moments of clarity and a peacefulness that will make you appreciate Winona and Angelina a little bit more. Likeeee the scene where Winona and Angelina sing Downtown (like the best song ever) to a friend locked up in solitary:




2. Veronica Sawyer in Heathers

Ah, Veronica. How can you forget Veronica Sawyer, when she's the only one out of her popular friend crowd the Heathers? In Heathers (which is written by Daniel Waters, brother to the director of Mean Girls, Mark Waters), Winona half-heartedly tries to be a part of the "in crowd" until one day she meets this guy (isn't that always how it starts) named J.D. who teaches her a better way to dominate the school. By killing the popular kids. DUN DUN DUUUUNNNHH. (And let me tell you, he is so hot, for, ya know, a PSYCHO KILLER).

I gotta say, this movie is amazing! It pretty much takes the concept of how the popularity contest that is high school fucks you up, makes it blood thirsty and adds the best mean girl crowd possible into the bunch. Then, you get seriously obsessed with the fucked up relationship between Veronica and J.D. (like, what normal people get turned on from killing people), when really, it's just plain messed.  One of my favourite scenes occurs when Veronica is freaking out because she's realizing that J.D. is actually kindof creepy (wow, didn't see that one coming) when she accidentally burns her palm on the cigarette lighter in the car and J.D. lights his cigarette with her hand. Very hot.



This is all good stuff, but did I forget to mention the super cute 80's outfits they wear, which have a sort of Clueless vibe, AND the best, most amazing, QUEEN BEE QUOTES EVER. Which you should always try to apply to everyday life:


  • Heather Chandler: “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”
  • Heather Chandler: “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?”
  • Veronica: “What’s the up-chuck factor on that?
  • Veronica: “You know what I want, babe?”
          J.D.: “What?”
          Veronica: “Cool guys like you out of my life.”
  • Veronica: “What is your damage, Heather?”
  • Heather Duke: “Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?”
  • Veronica: “I say we just grow up, be adults and die.”

The Heathers gang: from left, Winona Ryder, Kim Walker, Lisanne Falk and Shannen Doherty. Photograph: 20th Century Fox/Rex Features

















3. Kim Boggs in Edward Scissorhands

I could probably talk about this movie forever, since it's one of my favourites and has my husband Johnny Depp in it. BUT. I will let you figure out the magic of this movie yourself.

I will tell you however: Johnny Depp plays a gentle young man that strangely has scissors for hands, who is found all by himself in his creepy mansion at the top of a perfectly cookie-cutter, pastel coloured town (which is actually more creepy to me then the mansion) after his master dies. He soon finds himself adopted into the nice little family of the Avalon lady (or whatever makeup brand) who found him alone. He quickly falls in love with the daughter, and hilarity and GREAT SADNESS ensues. Sigh. The most beautiful scene in this movie happens when Edward makes it snow for Kim, something she's always wanted to see. BRB CRYING.



(ALSO JUST A LIL PS, JOHNNY DEPP AND WINONA DATED, WHICH IS LIKE, MY DREAM COME TRUE, AND UGH, I JUST, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, WHAT IS LIFE)

4. Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice


Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! THIS MOVIE ROCKS. Halloween is my favourite season/holiday/thing, and this movie (and The Addams Family, of course, because Wednesday is my BFF and inspiration) is an October must. Its got nice ghosts, bad ghosts, crazy dance numbers, weird alternate dead universes, crazy parents, a quirky teen named Lydia Deetz who hates everyone and everything, especially her crazy parents, and Tim burton as director. What could be better? Nothing. Well, maybe Lydia's wardrobe....


Plot: Poor couple wakes up, realize they're dead, their house is being moved into and reno-ed. They decide to do some scaring so they can have their house back, except, they're actually not that good at being scary. They end up turning to a baaaaddd ghost of a dude named Beetlejuice, who they hire to scare away the Deetz family. Did I forget to mention Lydia can see all the ghosties? Well, she, being awesome, become friends with them and tries to help them out, like a good pal would. The rest of the movie is crazyness.

This week, I have watched the Banana Boat clip about five billion times:


And listened to this song every morning as I get ready for school about EIGHTY BILLION times:



YOUR BUTT NEEDS TO BE SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

All in all, I think we can see that Noni (Winona, for all of you who aren't down with the lingo) is the Queen of Darkness to end all Queens. There is no competition. There is no debate. Winona rules. Case closed. I am in love.



!MY PHONE CASE EVERYONE!
(which you can buy at: this etsy)
How could you not love this?


PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW WINONA!




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